Success Looks Different


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Same place as last time. Listening to my own music.
No. You can’t hear it yet. It’s still not online. 😉

And I don’t just write the articles. No. This is mainly stuff I have to handle myself. Over and over again.
So I will for sure update the articles if I found out something new.

Success should not look like that:

worried-girl-413690_1920

You wouldn’t classify her as being successful just looking at the pic, right?
But who knows? Maybe she’s a billionaire and just her best friend had an accident.
Things are often different like they seem.

Success does NOT come overnight as a coincidence.

Moving how you perceive success in another direction.

You’ve seen it in the media. People that had that overnight success. Overnight fame.
Let’s be real here. Those are NOT overnight successes.
Those are BREAKTHROUGHS.

Will Smith had been asked when he finally got famous, how it does feel suddenly get famous overnight?
He looked at the interviewer. Then nodded his head. Started to smirk and said:

“That’s been a damn 10 years long night, dude!” – Will Smith

In this case, I actually know because I’ve watched the interview. And it’s also interesting to watch how Will Smith acts.
Furthermore, I mean how behaves in a conversation and how he communicates. There’s a lot to learn. He’s a very charismatic person.

If you had to define:

Success is …

Fill in the blank!

How would you go on? What would your definition be?

If you don’t know what to come up with I’ll give you some examples.

Some quotes of successful people. About Success.

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier

“Every achiever I have ever met says, ‘My life turned around when I began to believe in me.’” – Robert Schuller

“Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.” – Arthur Ashe

“You will be a failure, until you impress the subconscious with the conviction you are a success. This is done by making an affirmation which clicks.” – Florence Scovel Shinn

“You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job, and not be paid for it.” – Oprah Winfrey

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me?” — Ayn Rand

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier

“Actually, I’m an overnight success. But it took twenty years.” — Monty Hall

“If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you’ll achieve the same results.” Anthony Robbins

“I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles.” – Zig Ziglar

“If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” — Beverly Sills

“You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

“Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become.” — Jim Rohn

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” — Herman Cain

By the way, if you’d like to read more quotes from famous authors, you might have a look here: Inspirational Quotes*.

This is a collection that tells you a lot. Even the statement of Will Smith is reflected by Monty Hall:

“Actually, I’m an overnight success. But it took twenty years.”

This man seems to know what he talks about. And others do too.
To sum up it means that success is…

Can you now complete the sentence?

It’s the result of constant focused effort while never giving up to reach your goal.
If you fail, try another thing. And focus still in the same direction.
Fail again? Pick yourself up again.

You might watch this video of Tony Robbins.

He tells a lot of interesting stuff.

And especially the 3 most important things in reverse order.
The least important thing first:

You need to:

3. have the right strategy
2. tell the right empowering story

And the most important thing is to:

1. hit flow state

This video stops before he’s even telling it. But I know. So you shouldn’t miss out on it.

Because when you’re in state, you will

  • push through.
  • Then you won’t care if it takes a long time.
  • If it is always fun to do.
  • If you always love it.
  • You just push through.

This is when you forget about yourself. About everything that holds you back and you just do it.
And you will be amazed how everything goes.

To get more experiences and to see which of the things I describe in this article you might experience, let’s ask again:

Did you take part in the Clixsense Setup here?
Well, you should. Or at least try something similar. This is not about getting rich. Not in the short-term.
This is about making experiences and strengthen new empowering beliefs or building them at first.
And this is a well weakening your detrimental beliefs.
And especially it’s about how to deal with all the emotional burdens you might experience as well.

Your Beliefs

Your belief is like a table. That comparison is quite famous now about explaining beliefs.
Maybe you think:

I am not valuable / I am not good enough / I am unworthy / I do not deserve love

beliefs-table

This is your belief. And your belief is empowered by your reference experiences and your evidences.
Your belief is held up by the evidence, the legs of the table. And your belief is the plate itself.

Because your unworthy being loved you don’t go out.
Because there is no one that likes you.
You eat bad food to compensate which in turn makes you feel like crap.
You don’t take care anymore for yourself. Because you’re so unworthy.
And: So you really look unlovable.
Which empowers the belief even more.
It became self-sustaining.

People might even say when you go out:

Go away. You stink. I don’t like you.

But:

Is this belief even true?
Even if we assume something is true or wrong, we have to question it at that point.

Maybe this is why you didn’t even follow the Clixsense experiment.
Maybe someone tried: Dude, I tried too this makes no sense. You will only waste your time.

I will state that as an example for ANY little thing you could try to build a business right now.
You think you don’t deserve it.

To weaken detrimental believes we have to question them.
That being said, we can find and become aware of our core beliefs.

First, we have to perceive what’s blocking us. What does prevent our success now?

The Interview that got me stuck.

Let me give you a personal example:

I want to make an interview I want to publish on Deep Trust where I wanted to interview people preferably to the topic:

“Do you think having a deep emotional connection is important?”

paragliding-1245837_1280

(There will always be a point where we have to jump off life’s cliffs to change, otherwise, we’ll always be stuck in our comfort zone,
yes, if you start to grow life becomes an adventure.)

My idea is: 

Making an interview and post it on the page. To show the significance of that topic.
The interview should at least contain text,
description of what the people told me.

What to deal with (emotionally):

Talking about that topic with different people will possibly involve:

  • eliminate or overcome approach anxiety.
  • dealing with guilt
  • shame
  • comfort zone
  • rejection
  • building new habits
  • nervousness
  • perfectionism
  • insecurity

Better:

To record some audio. And I’d have to do it twice. In English and German because at the moment it is a bilingual site.

Best Idea:

Doing a YouTube video. Showing the opinion of the people about the topic.
Involves cutting, video processing and lots of stuff. Which I actually would like to do, BUT:

Guess what? I’ve barely interviewed some people right now.
Did I follow through yet?
No.
Why not?

I will tell you. No matter if it makes rational sense or not. But my brain still comes up with this stuff: Excuses. Lots of them.
The thing is now, how to handle these pieces of information. What to do with them?
And how to use them to go on?

The excuses that suddenly appeared in my head

Ok, here come the things:

  • Asking 100 people if they think a deep emotional connection is important is weird
  • They might think I want to sell them something
  • Maybe they don’t want to be disturbed
  • Feeling nervous
  • Maybe they don’t want to be recorded for a podcast, let alone being in a video.

And this is why so many people say:

It’s simple. (You know what to do)
But not easy. (But how to handle all this emotionally, where to start? How to push through and on…)

Basically meaning you know what to do, and the tell you:

“If you know WHAT to do, and WHY, the how will take care of itself.”

But what to do with all the emotional ballast or burden you carry around?
THIS is where we got stuck.
If not earlier. This is where I got stuck, too.
And yes. Sometimes I hate that. A lot. 😉

Now we have to do something about it.

What to do about the Excuses

The three essential steps to work with those things are:

  1. Perceiving, which is recognizing
  2. Accepting
  3. Changing

Ok, let’s deal with that more closely.

First, we have to recognize what we’re dealing with. This might show in the form of anger, defeat or similar feelings.

When we notice this, we have to take a break and think what to do.

How to get to the Core Belief

We will use to question to hone the process down:

  1. If that’s 100% true, why is that so bad?
  2. What does that mean to me or mean about me?

So let’s say that you notice that you become upset because you get home and the house is a total and complete mess. You begin with the most surface thought you can find which in this case would be the judgment:

Thought: “The house is a mess”

Questions: If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?
Answer: It means I live in a pig sty.

Questions: If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?
Answer: It means no one respects my house

Question: If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?
Answer: I’m getting used by people.

Question: If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?
Answer: No one cares about how I feel.

Question: If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?
Answer: Its inevitable that I’m going to be hurt by people.

Question: If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?
Answer: Suffering is the purpose of life.

Question: If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?
Answer: Life is a punishment.

Question: If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?
Answer: It means I’m bad.

Question: If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?
Answer: I’ll be unloved.

Question: If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?
Answer: I’m all alone.

“I’m all alone” is the core belief in this above scenario.

So ironically, the reason that we got upset when we came home and saw that the house was a mess is that it instantly triggered the belief and all the memories associated with that belief that

“I am all alone”.

Cheating is not helping, don’t “cop out”

Beware of “cop-outs” or “justifications” during the process of finding a core belief.
We have the tendency, especially when we are just about to reach the core belief, of veering in the opposite direction of digging deeper and justifying why we are right to think what the thought we just presented.

For example, if someone said:

“Suffering is the purpose of life”

and they asked themselves:

“If that is 100% true, why is that so bad and/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?”

The truthful answer might be:

“It means Life is a punishment”.

A “cop-out” answer or a “justification” might be:

“Suffering shouldn’t be the purpose of life.”

When we are finding core beliefs, we always need to be willing to admit to a belief that is a bit more painful and a bit more painful than the one before, rather than trying to bypass the pain by justifying why a less painful belief is correct. We can apply this process of questioning to any judgment or negative thought that we have. You will be absolutely blown away at the real reason behind why certain things upset you.

Often we find multiple beliefs that would benefit by being questioned in one core belief finding process. For example, in the above scenario, the belief

“no one cares how I feel”

and the belief

“I am bad”

would benefit by being questioned and changed.

(Excerpt from How To Find A Core Belief by Teal Swan, read the full text here: )
Or watch her Video:

Another Way of Approaching the same Issues.

If you’d like to know more about that topic or another way of doing it, you can also use the four questions of Byron Katie for doing The Work.

Do you really want to know the truth? Investigate each of your statements from the using the four questions and the turnarounds below.
Leave out any statement beginning with

“but”, “because”, or “and”.

The Four Questions:

  1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?

If you’d like to know more about it, you might get the book of Byron Katie: Loving What Is: Four Questions that can change your Life

Ok, that’s it for today.

Just shoot me a message or write some comments if the article helped.
Let me know your story.
Or send me some personal feedback.

Thanks.

~Holger

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