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Are You Tired and Scared?
Everyone is tired and scared.
Correct me if you think you’re not.
Just Imagine this Scary Situation at Work
Do you know this situation:
You are at work and something new is explained to you.
You think you got it. But then is the time when you have to do it for the first time on your own.
Everyone will accept that it’s not perfect the first time. Good.
The 3 Times Trap
But, what if you can’t still get your task completed after the fourth try and you know you would have to ask a fourth time again?
You might be really crestfallen. And don’t want to take it anymore. It’s over.
You might even get fired for that.
And: Maybe when you’ve had tried for the 20th time you might have to get the hang of it even better than anyone else.
This is different when you build your own company.
You might fail many times until you get it to run. Maybe you need to try some things 100 times. With slight changes every time.
But this isn’t acceptable in business anymore.
Resistance against your Values
If the job you’re working in is not your absolute dream job you might be scared and tired when you go to work.
And you feel a lot of resistance inside. And you almost can’t wait for Friday afternoon. Right?
Gosh, sometimes I really hate that, too.
Why do you feel that resistance? Because your value system is not the same. Your values don’t match the values of the company.
When you make the effort to find your values in your job, you can make it more comfortable for yourself.
In business, we separate emotions from our daily work. We have to be professional, rational. Emotions have no space in this environment.
It’s like emotions would be something intoxicating.
The infographic below shows what we came up with:
Everyone speaks and feels, but the emotions are locked out.
At least they try to.
Like we don’t possess them. But that’s not true. And so we kinda suppress them at work.
This creates resistance and makes us mad or tired.
And what would happen if you ask your chief for the 5th time:
“Erm, can you explain that to me again? I still didn’t get it.”
This is what you say, but you might feel:
Punished, mad, bad, unhappy, tired, rigid, stiff, frozen to a certain degree. Right?
Below you can see a picture that speaks truth. At least much more than the last pic.
It’s like we stack it up. Emotions are transferred with the text.
It’s like the text is the vehicle for the emotions.
Do you want to see if that’s true? Ok. Let’s come up with an example. Just say
But the truth is different in reality those are not separate.
They are linked. No matter how we consider it to be.
Business and Emotion are not separate entities
because we’re still human
It’s linked. It’s intersecting. We can’t just be professional and suppress our emotions because they are still there.
Me: You’d like to join me for lunch today?Him: Sure. Let’s go. We get Wiender Schnitzel.With fries.Me: Me gusta. Me encanta. (I like that. That’s very good, sometimes I just talk some words in Spanish because I love the language).
Why didn’t they have it here before? Gosh! I crave it. Haha
“Calm the f*** down I am not responsible for YOUR mistakes. Be normal. Hush. I will be leaving now. Bye!”
Kirk: “Scotty we need to repair the ion thruster. Fast”Scotty: “Ok, Captain. I need one week.”Kirk: “You got two days.”
Scotty: “Ok! I will be done tomorrow!”
Sharpen your Senses
Two people are eating a home-cooked meal together.
The one who didn’t cook says:
“There is something green in the soup.”
Matter layer: There is something green. Self-revealing layer: I don’t know what it is. Relationship layer: You should know what it is. Appeal layer: Tell me what it is!
Matter layer: There is something green. Self-revealing layer: You do not know what the green item is, and that makes you feel uncomfortable. Relationship layer: You think my cooking is questionable. Appeal layer: I should only cook what you know in the future!
The other answers:
“If you don’t like the taste, you can cook it yourself.”
Which just might not be considered, this is why I won’t explain it further here, but I mention it to show what’s missing if we cut off the emotional channel.
And what we might learn from NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) as well if someone is one of those types or a combination of several:
Just try these things below to see what’s been missing when the emotional channel has been cut off:
To evoke visual imagery, visualize the following:
- A shape: circle, triangle, square
- An oak tree
- A rose
- A sailing boat
- A button
- A computer
To evoke auditory imagery, imagine the following:
- The wind blowing through the trees
- The ring on your telephone
- The sound of your computer keyboard
- Scales played on a guitar
- Water lapping on a lake shore
To evoke olfactory imagery, conjure up the following smells:
- Petrol fumes
- Newly baked bread
- New mown grass
- Freshly brewed coffee
To evoke gustatory imagery, imagine the taste of:
Kinesthetic imagery can be further divided into:
- the sense of touch
- and feelings.
Touch – imagine the feelings of:
Standing barefoot on a sandy beach
- Running your fingertips on satin fabric
- Holding a smooth pebble
- Sunlight falling on your arm
- Holding an ice cube
- Stepping into a warm bath
Movement – feel engaged in an activit:
- Running on grass
- Throwing a ball
Feelings – what does it feel like in your body to be:
“You know, Holger, everyone here is tired and scared.”
Channel cut off. No emotions. I was a little bit shocked.
“Don’t create. Document.”
Because we’re only moving inside the business bubble. But the emotional bubble isn’t penetrated at all.
Watch the Nuances at Play
- Who’s just collaborating (even if emotional: sharing frame)
- Who wants to just suppress the other ones to win.
- And who sees themselves as threatened, molested or attacked.
“The most exciting thing of this all is, if you know how people are communicating, you can easily communicate with them.And everyone asks themselves why you can handly anyone but others are arguing all the time.”
2. It feels strange and this is why…
3. Uncalibrated rushing
6. Vague Statements
7. Snatching the Theme
8. Superficial Connection
10. Judging their beliefs
11. Wrong Mentality – Perception
12. Feigning Interest
13. Repeating everything they say
14. Wrong energy or velocity
15. Emotional Dead End
16. Wrong Tonality – Story Telling
17. Interrupting their thoughts
18. Superficial Commonalities
19. Connecting incorrectly
20. Interview with pressure!
21. Qualification – Take away the opportunities to qualify
22. Distinguishing the little Flame
23. Telling then you didn’t think that you got that right
25. Yeah yeah I know, but I just forgot how to explain that at the moment
26. Hmm… Mexico or Brazil or, no, but Maldives or…. wandering thoughts!
28. „Close the gap“
- not heard
- treated badly
And so the talking at that level has been already killed and your conversation partner might never go back to that level with you. Because you didn’t understand.
Unite Emotion and Business – Let Business Meet Emotion
The whole being more than the sum of its parts.
I’ve summarized them for you in a small infographic: